Root Beer Snobs

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Geoff and I rolled down to LA a few days early for Formula D Irwindale so we’d have time to hang out with some friends. Antonio Alvendia is a big fan of Sailor Jerry and root beer, so we stopped by BevMo on the way out of town and picked up a handle of Sailor and 13 different root beers to try out.

First on the list was Frostie. We were initially excited because it made a loud pop when Geoff opened it, but we were not impressed. It was watery and I thought it was extremely mediocre. The Captain Eli’s was more aromatic right off the bat, and had a strong gingery smell. Geoff was impressed, and he had such a sophisticated stance that you can’t help but respect his opinion.
Antonio thought the So Duh! was mellow but not bad. It had a fuller root taste than the other two, but it was still nothing spectacular. Geoff had a hard time tasting it through the Sailor.
Geoff and I made Antonio bust up laughing more than once with our amazingly hilarious stories that we can’t repeat even here on Life Blasters.
On to the River City. This one was pretty gingery too, but generally unimpressive. The label was cool though, if that counts for anything.
We tried some Faygo. I couldn’t even smell it, and it tasted mellow and watery. Meh. On the other hand, Geoff does a pretty good Alex Pfeiffer impression. It was so good Antonio had to record it on his iPhone 4 to show to Alex’s ex. LOL!
Antonio had just gotten back from Chicago so he was hyped to try to Berghoff since it’s made in Chicago and had a cool label. But he was disappointed. “Berghoff can fuck off.”
Buckin’ Root Beer was really good. It was gingery but not too strong, and it had a full, rooty, taste. It was such a surprise compared to the previous brews that I forgot to take a photo of it.
Rat Bastard had a mystery smell due to all the extra ingredients like jasmine, dong quai, ginseng, mad dog weed, skull cap, yohimbe, ginko biloba, gotu kola, golden seal, echinacea, african capsicum, reishi, shiitaki & cordyceps. I don’t even know what most of that stuff is, but it tasted good.
Antonio didn’t even remember drinking Jack Black’s, that’s how unremarkable it was.
Antonio had this pretty dope 1997 calendar laying around. It was full of cars with Veilside kits and JDM wheels in the era before Chinese knock offs. As he was flipping through the months, he came across an S14 and declared, “I don’t know who this bitch is, but this car is garbage too.”
We were unsure about Teddy’s since it was in a plastic bottle, but it was really good with lots of full flavor. We got to talking about Joe and Justin, and Antonio was wondering what it would be like if they did their “Tornado Warning” gag on roller skates. For those of you who are not familiar with the gag, it’s when a group of people are at a restaurant or other public space and one of them declares “Tornado Warning!” and they all spin around in circles, bumping into things and each other.
Abita was meh. Antonio was kinda over it all and skipped the Sprecher to go straight for the Sparky’s. I still had to try it though. It had a very nice, pleasing aroma and full, good all around taste.
Sparky’s won hands down. It smelled twice as good as the Sprecher tasted, and its taste was incredible. Antonio likes it so much he won’t mix it with Sailor! It was 4 in the morning, so I was really tired and didn’t take notes on its particular character. So just take our word for it, Sparky’s is really really really good root beer!

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